


It Won’t Be Like This For Long

by Baroness_Blixen



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Fluff, dad!mulder, family fic, mulder and scully as parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 07:20:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15262302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baroness_Blixen/pseuds/Baroness_Blixen
Summary: Being a parent means getting little to no sleep.





	It Won’t Be Like This For Long

When the soft sniffling on the baby monitor changes its tune and turns into a full blown cry, Mulder heaves his body out of bed. His bare feet shuffle out the room, his eyes barely open. It’s sheer luck that he doesn’t crash into the door, trip over shoes, a toy. 

“I’m here, baby. I’m here,” he murmurs as he reaches the nursery. The baby is fussy, but her crying is still gentle, almost quiet; Scully probably would have waited a moment longer. Not Mulder. He has been up all night, he feels, as if waiting. His daughter, this precious miracle, is keeping him awake night and day. Mulder picks her up easily, his hands accustomed to her tiny body, her slight weight. She settles down as soon as she is in her father’s arms, her head resting on his shoulder. Mulder holds her head and sways to an inaudible song that must be in his mind. Or maybe he just follows the rhythm of their heartbeats.

“I’ve never been this tired, Katie girl.” His hand absent-mindedly strokes the girl’s back. “I don’t know how your mommy does it. I’m too old. Am I too old, Katie?” His daughter remains quiet, merely drools on his shirt. The concept of age as elusive to her as that of a good night’s sleep.

Mulder leaves a kiss against her temple and moves to put her down. Her tiny fingers dig into his skin and she starts mewling. Mulder stands up straight again and she relaxes. He holds her close to him, sighs heavily.

“You sure you don’t want to sleep, hm? It’s not time to eat yet and,” he puts a hand over her small bum, “your diaper seems dry. Just don’t want to sleep, kiddo?” He chuckles into the soft tufts of auburn hair. “I don’t want to wake your mommy yet. One of us needs to sleep and not be a zombie. Oh, I can tell you so many things about zombies, Katie. But I think we better wait until you’re a bit older. I have a very good story for you, though. If it weren’t for zombies, I might have never kissed your mom. There’d be no you, no Jackson.” But there’d be sleep. So much sleep. Without Scully. Without knowing his daughter, his son. No, as tired as he is, this is the better outcome. Much, much better.

“Let’s try this again,” Mulder mumbles and this time he is slower. He shifts Katie in his arms, but his daughter knows what’s up. One of her nails catches in his shirt and she wails. Mulder soothes her, takes her tiny finger and kisses it. She sniffs and looks at him with sleepy, yet defiant eyes. “You want another story?” He whispers against her. “How about the time your mother and I saw this big, incredible spaceship? You’d like that? Your mom says it wasn’t a spaceship but your mother-”

“Is always right,” Scully’s voice interrupts him, “it wasn’t a spaceship, Mulder.” A small, tired smile on her face, she kisses Katie’s head. The baby turns to her, makes some noise. Time to eat, after all. Mulder hands her over and Scully sits with her in the rocking chair by the window. He follows, like a puppy, and sits on the floor next to them.

“I thought I could let you sleep a while longer.”

“I heard you two on the baby monitor,” Scully says, her voice lazy, her eyes heavy.

“Oh shit,” she is fully awake immediately, turns to him and throws him a look, “sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you or say sh- that. I’m so tired, Scully. So very, very tired.” Mulder leans his head against the armrest. The hard wooden surface is uncomfortable, but he is too exhausted to care.

“It won’t be like this for long, Mulder.” Should he ask her if it was like this with William? Was he this fussy, this sleepless? He wasn’t even there then. She was doing all of it on her own. “William wasn’t like that. Jackson,” they’re still getting used to calling him that; he is Jackson now, but in their memories, the only pieces they have of his childhood, he is William, “but then… maybe I don’t remember it. I sometimes stayed up when he was asleep and just watched him.” Mulder does it now, too, watches Scully. Her eyes are closed, but there’s a smile on her face. He’s never wished so much to be able to read her mind; he wants to see what she’s seeing in her memory, wants to know what it was like with their son, still wishes he could have been there.

“One day we’ll probably look back at this and laugh about it,” Scully says, chuckles softly. “It’s just a phase, Mulder.”

“Well, I’m ready for the next one.”

“You’re going to miss this one day.”

“Are you sure about that?” But as he watches Katie suckle with her eyes half closed, her face so perfect, he thinks Scully might be right. Isn’t she always? “It’s going to get worse, isn’t it?” Mulder takes one of Katie’s feet in his hands. How can such a tiny human being possess so much of his heart?

“Maybe. But we’ll get more sleep.”

“You sure about that?” He imagines her as a feisty four year old, crawling into their bed in the middle of the night, taking over the whole bed. Mulder smiles; he can’t wait.

“One day you’re going to drop her off at preschool and you’ll be the one crying.”

“Hey!” But she’s right, of course she is.

“Or wait until she’s a teenager,” Scully touches their daughter’s cheek, “when everything we say is worth an eye roll.”

“You’re thinking of Jackson?” Their son has perfected the eye roll. Mulder is not going to tell her that he gets that from her. Scully nods. “He loves us and his little sister.” Another nod from Scully.

“I think she’s done.” Mulder takes the girl and pats her back, waits for the burp. Katie sighs after and leans her head against his shoulder. Her whole body is slack as exhaustion catches up with her. He changes her diaper in quick, automatic movements. When he moves to put her down this time, she doesn’t complain. Scully joins him there at the crib, slings an arm around his waist. They’re leaning heavily against each other, holding each other up. Only a couple of hours before they have to do it all over again. Neither of them wants to leave; the sight of their baby sleeping peacefully the greatest gift of all. It won’t be like this for long. So he’s going to enjoy every second of it. Even if it means he doesn’t get any sleep.


End file.
